Sunday, November 05, 2006

Disgraced President’s Day

Irrespective of Tuesday’s election results, I would like to propose that Congress and the Senate meet in emergency session to make each November 5th Disgraced President’s Day. This in honour the nation’s 37th and 43rd presidents.

On this date in 1968, Richard Milhouse Nixon, was elected to his first term as POTUS. He is the only President (so far) to resign in disgrace. If you were to spin his Faustian tale to someone who’d never heard it, they’d never believe it. Dig:

From humble beginnings to the Oval Office. Want to talk about dirty campaigns? Nixon famously accused his opponent as being pink right down to her underwear. She wasn’t, but lost anyway, while Tricky Dickie (he already had earned the nickname) went on to capture Alger Hiss and rode his pumpkin-smashing McCarthyite to the Vice Presidency of the only President named Dwight. Then, he was almost dumped from the ‘56 ticket after accusations some businessmen had set up a secret slush fund for him. It was 100% true, but that didn’t matter after The Checkers Speech, which saved his ass.

Then he didn’t get The Big Chair™ in 1960 when the original JFK (not John Foot-in-mouth Kerry) trounced The Big Dick in a squeaker so close it is said that even the dead in Chicago stood up and applauded.

Everyone counted Nixon out, especially 2 years later when he lost the election for governor of California to Jerry Brown’s daddy. Even Nixon counted Nixon out. In his rambling concession speech, he blamed the media for his troubles (so what else is new?) and blurted, “You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.

So, who ever thought he’d become POTUS? After finally reaching the pinnacle for which he fought all his life—becoming Commander-In-Chief—he lost it all because he was also Paranoid-In-Chief. Nixon had an Enemies List, was mired in an unpopular war and perverted the Constitution of the United States of America to cover up his crimes.

Does that last paragraph sound like any current occupant of The White House?

Well, lo and behold, November 5th is also the anniversary of the day in 1977 on which Laura “Librarian” Welch married President George “We were never stay the course” Bush, just 3 months after they met. We’d be horrified of any of our children married that quickly. Yet, it’s a marriage that has defied the statistical odds and today is their 29th Wedding Anniversary. That’s the Oil Anniversary.

But, it’s another important milestone on Disgraced Presidents Day. All the best biographies of President George “I’m a united not a divider” Bush credit Laura with helping her poor alcoholic of a husband kick the booze. If not for the marriage, there might not have been a 2nd Disgraced President to have allowed me to propose Disgraced Presidents Day.

With all my love,

Your Aunty Em

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