Monday, September 29, 2008

Palintologist Palin Claimed Dinosaurs And People Coexisted

The Huffington Post, channeling an article from the LA Times:
Palin told him [local music teacher and Wasilla resident Philip Munger] that "dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth at the same time," Munger said. When he asked her about prehistoric fossils and tracks dating back millions of years, Palin said "she had seen pictures of human footprints inside the tracks," recalled Munger, who teaches music at the University of Alaska in Anchorage and has regularly criticized Palin in recent years on his liberal political blog, called Progressive Alaska.
I provide more photographic proof:

And, if you're in a mood to dance, I present Was (Not Was) who will help you "Walk The Dinosaur," our next Hit Line Request Golden Oldie™ on EMtv:



With all my love,
Aunty Em

Friday, September 26, 2008

UPDATE - McLame To Debate After All


John McChange-his-mind has decided to debate after all, As I type The Hot Air Express is landing in Memphis, Tennessee, on route to Mississippi, where it has been said he was born.

No doubt the minute he gets his face in front of the microphones he's going to take credit for solving The Money Mess™.

He's already claimed to have won tonight's debate---some 10 hours before it took place.

From WaPo:

McCain Wins Debate

Although the fate of tonight's presidential debate in Mississippi remains very much up in the air, John McCain has apparently already won it -- if you believe an Internet ad an astute reader spotted next to this piece in the online edition of the Wall Street Journal this morning.

"McCain Wins Debate!" declares the ad which features a headshot of a smiling McCain with an American flag background. Another ad spotted by our eagle-eyed observer featured a quote from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis declaring: "McCain won the debate-- hands down."

Screenshot above.

In what Alternative Universe is he living?

With all my love,
Aunty Em

On This Day In History - September 26, 1960

On Sept. 26, 1960, the first televised debate between presidential candidates took place in Chicago as Republican Richard M. Nixon and Democrat John F. Kennedy squared off. [Read the NYT's article published the morning after.]
This morning no one actually knows whether Grandpa McChange will actually show up for tonight’s scheduled debate—the first in the Marathon Race of ’08—except The Maverick himself…maybe…possibly…without a doubt!

As the whole world knows by now, McBush has suspended his Election Campaign, dissed David Letterman, and finally went to Washington, D.C. to save the world.

Before he arrived negotiators said they were near a deal. Once McSame entered the scene everything fell apart.

That said, it’s always nice to take a look back to see what history might teach us.

The election of 1960 was a watershed in history. It was the first with televised debates and the first in which the nascent medium of television took a deciding role.

Sitting Vice President Richard Nixon famously squared off with Senator John F. Kennedy. It's now conventional wisdom that those who listened to the debate on radio thought Nixon had won. Those who watched the debate on The Boob Tube thought Kennedy won. Why the disparity?

Nixon, who had actually been ill and hospitalized a few weeks before the debate, eschewed the television make up offered before the debate. As such his 5 o'clock shadow was rather pronounced. As well, he had lost weight but wore a shirt that was loose at the neck, making him look even more unkempt, if that's the right word.

And, let's face it, even had Nixon had a healthy-looking tan like Kennedy, there was no way he could compete in the looks department. The cameras loved Kennedy. Nixon? Not so much.

Here's the opening statement of Senator Kennedy:



And here's Nixon's opening statement:



However, my favourite Nixon moment is from 1962:



Let's hope we won't have John McSame to kick around anymore. Will he debate tonight? Only time will tell.

With all my love,
Aunty Em

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Even The Truth Has Technical Difficulties

Tucker Bounds, a name better suited to a Gay S&M Porn Star™ than a political flack, popped up on the tube yesterday---and all over the InnerTubes today---for a hard grilling on MSNBC. Unfortunately, just as things were getting good:



If I might just put on my tin foil hat for a sec:

The Right Wing did it! The Right Wing controls the airwaves. The Right Wing doesn't want any hard questions asked of anybody, from Petrol Palin to Johnny McSame to Tucker "I don't even know 'er" Rebounds. The Right Wing wants us to just follow along like good little ...

{hat blows off in the wind}

Where was I? Oh yeah. See how Friar Tucker avoids answering the question. It's hilarious.

With all my love,
Aunty Em

Sunday, September 14, 2008

It's A Bizarro World After All

As Blue Kryptonite is to Bizarro Superman, facts are to The McChange Campaign. Just when we were all prepared to award Arbusto&Co the award as The Biggest Liar In All The Land™, along comes Johnny Come Lately and takes the title, war injuries and all, without breaking a sweat.

I grew up with Bizarro #1, in the era known as (no kidding) The Pre-Crisis Bizarro. Senator Johnny Mac is the Post-Crises Bizarro. The crisis is The Bush Presidency. Bizarrely—with all evidence to the contrary—as poll after poll show electorate is fed up with the direction the country is taking, MacLaine wants to keep on keeping on in the same tired, discredited, worthless direction.

But, then, get this: he comes out as the Candidate of Change™.

Worthy of a Bizarro moment in The Graveyard of Solitude. And speaking of graveyards? How's that Iraq War thing going for ya?

What can explain the lies, distortions, half-truths being peddled by The Repugs? Bizarro World! Even when the lies have been exposed for what they are, the campaign keeps repeating them in advertisements that are flooding airwaves and the Blogopolis. You don’t have to swing a mouse very far on the Innertubes without finding these electronic political hatchet jobs are utter bullshit. There are so many, I won't bother linking to them. Take a Google Drive for yourself on the Information Superhighway to see how you are being lied to.

The pick of Pistol Pakin’ Palin is nothing short of political expediency. Yet, McChange has falsely accused Senator Obama of willing to lose a war in order to win an election (I don’t think the phrase has been trademarked yet). How Bizarro of him.

Even the Alaskan state motto seems to have been designed by a Bizarro Ad Agency, in light of Sensational Sarah: “North to the Future.” This woman wants to drag us kicking and screaming to the past. Book banning? Seems okay with Censorship Sarah. Regressive sexual education? Sarah Zygote would take us back to The Dark Ages. Ethics investigations? Sarah has one of those and even tho’ she’s said that she wants to clear the air, she’s hired lawyers to throw up roadblocks. Cronyism? She's hired more classroom friends than a monkey's uncle. (Can we still say "monkey," or is that sexist too?) More Bizarro behaviour: Now that she’s on The Change Team, she no longer supports the very same earmarks that had been the hallmark of her administrations as Mayor of Wasilla and the Great State of Alaska. And, she's ordered friends and family to clam up. People are wrong when they say Palin is Cheney Squared. She's Nixon cubed. She even denies Global Warming, but Clark Kent knows better:


Here’s the crazy thing: Despite all the opposite behaviour exhibited by The Post-Crisis Bizarro McCain™, the polls have the election at a statistical dead heat these days. Only in Bizarro World would things be so completely opposite.



With all my love,
Aunty Em

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

If It Oinks Like A Pig

Would you buy a pig in a poke?

The latest distraction in the increasingly silly Presidential Campaign is whether Senator Obama was calling a Moose a pig when he said, "You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." He continued, "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called 'change,' it's still gonna stink after eight years. We’ve had enough of the same old thing! It’s time to bring about real change to Washington. And that’s the choice you’ve got in this election."
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-----Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
I guess it doesn't count that on October 12, 2007 McChange is quoted in the NYT [registration required] as saying about Senator Clinton's Health Care Plan, “I think they put some lipstick on a pig,” he said, “but it’s still a pig.”

Not to be outdone, Elizabeth Edwards said in April of this year that McChange's Health Care Plan was akin to “painting lipstick on a pig.”
Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig.
-----Alexander Solzhenitsyn (1918 - ), The Gulag Archipelago
I'm told that Torie Clarke, a former-press secretary for one John McChange published a book called, "Lipstick on a Pig: Winning In the No-Spin Era by Someone Who Knows the Game"

With such a fairly common expression, it seems likely that we'd find it coming out of the mouths of many. And, lo and behold, even Senator Obama has used it previously, when he said almost exactly a year ago, "George Bush has given a mission to General Petraeus, and he has done his best to try to figure out how to put lipstick on a pig."
The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig.
-----Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971), "The Pig"
Suddenly the McChange/Moose Whine Machine™ is on a tear of Faux Outrage: Obama called Moose a pig! He's being mean to a girl!! He's being sexist!!! Wah! WAH!! WAH!!! Expect this silly piece of legerdemain to dominate the next news cycle, which is exactly what The Reich Wing wants. Anything to keep from discussing the last 8 years and scary thought of the possibility of the Moose and Squirrel Years™.

One ironic note: For her support of earmarks as Governor, and before that Mayor of Wassilla, Alaska, Pistol Pakin' Palin has earned the nickname "Queen of Pork."

With all my love,
Aunty Em

A Maverick By Any Other Name

There are lies, damnable lies and statistics!
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
-----Mark Twain


Mark Twain had a lot to say about lies. He also had a lot to say about the issues of race.

And a man of race calls John McChange (I'm trying, Mr. Man) a liar. Well, not really. Senator Obama said that the McChange/Bull Moose Party's "Maverick" advert is "not telling the truth."

Watch as Senator Obama and Keith Olbermann discuss recent statements from The McChange campaign:



There are other ways to say "not telling the truth." Pick one:

Lie, falsehood, untruth, the big lie, prevarication, fib, little white lie, quibble, equivocation, evasion, fiction, falsification, invention, concoction, falsity, barefaced lie, fabrication, trumped-up story, magnification, enlargement, yarn, tall tale, shaggy dog story, garbage, hogwash, baloney, cock-and-bull story, misrepresentation, fish story, perversion, distortion, corruption, inaccuracy, misconstruction, slanting, straining, torturing, canard, hoax, forgery, monstrous lie, mendacity, whopper, crap, dirty lie, shameless lie, defamation and big stinkin' pile of shit.
Mark Twain also had a lot to say about the politicians of his day. I wonder, considering his obviously progressive bent, what he would think of The Presidential Election of Ought Eight™. Would he consider it progress that a Black man is a candidate for president, or would he satire a Republican Party that would lie to The American Public™?

I'd like to think he'd satire a populace that would buy into such bullshit.
_________________________________________________

Later this month a disparate and intelligent group of brigands will be meeting in Hartford, Connecticut, U.S.A. to discuss this matter, as well as cats; missing feet; crotchless pantaloons; hurricanes; sock puppets past & present; RALPH! RALPH!! RALPH!!! and PIAPS PLOTS™; with plenty of beer, wine, and other liquors to wash it down.

I had hoped to be able to join these delinquents, but I guess this is as good a time to announce that I don't really have the funds for a trip to The Mark Twain House in Hartford, Connecticut. And sadly too, because I am a big fan of both Mark Twain the OT Off-Regulars.

I hope you all have a great time and will toast at least one to me.

With all my love,
Aunty Em

Monday, September 08, 2008

Today In History - September 8, 1974

It was so appropriate that I started writing The Last Post about midnight and I didn't even know it.

According to The History Channel (and every other source I could find):

September 8, 1974

President Ford pardons former President Nixon

On this day in 1974, President Gerald Ford, who assumed office on the heels of President Richard M. Nixon’s resignation, pardons his predecessor for his involvement in the Watergate scandal.

TRUNCATED: Read more here.

When one is looking for an image to illustrate a story, sometimes it's hard to choose just one. Here's a small (Rogue's) Gallery:








The Culture War: It's So On!!!!

As a semi-retired, card-carrying, left-leaning member of the MSM, I am delighted that McSame/Palin '08 has reignited The Culture Wars™. It has, perhaps, angered and energized me enough to re-fire this Blog to fight the Perfidious Palin & Her Less Popular Sidekick™. I'm pissed!

This ploy---blaming the media---is as old as The Republic, but one can trace its modern roots to Richard Milhous Nixon and Spiro T. Agnew*---still the only Prez/Vice Prez team to resign in disgrace. It should be noted that Agnew also fulfilled the cynical "Southern Strategy," an election ploy played by the Republicans in various guises ever since.

Spiro set the bar pretty high, but that's because he counted Pat Buchanan and William Safire among his speech writers. Those guys loved illiteration and Agnew was glib enough to deliver lines like "nattering nabobs of negativism", "pusillanimous pussyfooters", and "hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history" without a single LOL. One of his best lines, and one which echoes in this election cycle, was when he attacked "an effete corps of impudent snobs who characterize themselves as intellectuals."

Can anyone say "arugula"? No. Really. Can you? It's a fun word to say.

But now even Eruca sativa is a Casualty of the Culture Wars™.

While it's true that Agnew set the bar pretty high, it's been lowered each election cycle. However, after years of Rushbo Limpballs (detained for the the importation of Viagra, not his own), Loofah Lad, mAnn Coulter and Shawnie Scammity, now it's as low as a Limbo Stick, far easier to step over it than to try and go under it.

Attacking the MSM is a two-fer for the Repugs:

► Lashing out at the so-called leftist MSM as part of the Eastern Establishment™ plays right into The Reich Wing Play Book and puts the media on defense, which might stop the tough questions;

► Painting Senator Obama as elite and effete, part of that Eastern Establishment™ that the MSM is so in love with.

These memes have been swirling not-so-quietly for months. They have intesified by a factor of 1,000 since Vee Pee Pick Palin was tapped. The Media's now been told that questioning Palin is off limits and she was vetted sufficiently. After the Repug convention bashed The Media at every turn, and then cut off all inquiries afterward, The Media is now going over Palin's Past with a fine-toothed comb. The Republican Convention may have woken up a sleeping giant to do its proper job.

[JUST ANNOUNCED: One interview, with ABC News, is tentatively scheduled for later this week.]

Ironically, had the MSM done its job 8 years ago, it's possible we'd have had a different president. Had the MSM done its job 6 years ago, Americans and Iraqis would not have died in a bogus war that's sapping our treasure. Had the MSM done its job 4 years ago the Swift Boaters would have been consigned to The Dustbin of History™.

As for the unofficial vetting of Governor Pain: We'll know what we know when we know it.

Meanwhile, there's already a lot of information out in the Blogopolis, from a "bridge to nowhere" to "Troopergate" to her saddling her hometown of Wassilla, Alaska with a crushing debt.

I predicted over at the News Hounds** OT Forum that Palin will not be on the ticket come election day. I stand by that prediction.

Meanwhile, The Culture War is on and I am prepared for battle.

Bring it on!!!

With all my love,
Aunty Em
______________________________________________
*Yeah, I know. It's The WikiWikiWee™. While I would caution not to believe everything one reads on The Wiki, it can still stand as a quick and dirty source as long as you back it up.

** If you want to know what those loons on Faux Noise are saying, but don't have the stomach for actually watching it, News Hounds is the blog for you. It dissects the lies on Faux Noise on a show-by-show basis, If you get over there, drop in to The Off Topic Forum and say "Hello."